Anxiety, worry, dread, trepidation and other related emotions are all harmonics of fear. Regardless of what external circumstances are driving the fear -- fear is basically an emotion based on a belief that we will have an unfavorable outcome.

When we experience fear or one of its harmonics, like worry, or anxiety, we must find ways to deal with our underlying belief that we are going to have an unfavorable outcome. 

It is like we are emotionally predicting the future even though we are not certain it will be as bad as we are believing. In fact we are not certain it will end badly at all. I recently got stopped by the police for a string of bad decisions. It was a good thing he pulled me over because I was pushing the limits. I was happy to get stopped and reminded. I wish he'd have given me a warning but he did not. I was tempted to think about what I was losing by getting a ticket but instead I found I was appreciative for the ticket. I'd much rather pay a fine than allow my driving habits continue to deteriorate as I got away with more careless maneuvers. 

I've never been more grateful for a ticket but for most of my life I'd never have felt that way. I'd have been frustrated with myself and anxious about the cost and its effect on my finances. However after some years of employing the best possible tools and strategies I could find for overcoming those automatic negative expectations from my thinking I am able to realize genuine and valuable benefits from situations I would previously have been anxious or upset about.

What exactly is it that causes us to believe that future outcomes will automatically be to our disadvantage? We clearly want positive outcomes so what is behind our tendency to immediately begin to imagine an unpleasant outcome?

We constantly hear people saying things like "I always get the short end of the stick", or "why do these sort of things always happen to me", or "just when things were going well it all falls apart". These are well implanted beliefs that people are spouting that express their emotional attitude towards situations. They automatically see an unexpected occurrence as a bad thing. I've known someone who met her life mate because of a ticket from an officer who later fell in love with her. I know at least three other couples that met due to automobile accidents where they "literally" ran into each other.

There are many theories about the exact cause of this tendency to expect the worst -- and it varies in degrees from one person to another. Put 10 people in a given volatile situation and they will all react with different degrees of negative expectations. Depending on the situation some may even expect a positive outcome and experience no fear while the others will be terrified.

For example: If you took 10 people a mile offshore in tropical ocean water and throw them all in the water and drive the boat away -- some people will react with greater degrees of fear depending on their experience and level of success previously. A triathlete may begin the swim to shore without fear or reservation. A non swimmer would probably panic and drown.

Looking at the above example it is clear that we tend to expect more positive outcomes if we feel we have some control over the outcome due to knowledge or experience. Therefore it follows that we can reduce anxiety or stress by putting ourselves in situations that we have a track record of similar success or ability sufficiently greater than the task at hand. It also follows that if we reduce the number of life situations over in which we are out of our comfort zone -- we'll reduce the stress or anxiety we have.

The main problem with that approach is that if we use it as our primary approach to reducing or controlling anxiety we'll end up locking ourselves in a room and never going anywhere. I don't think there is a more pervasive habit in the majority of the human race -- that of avoiding situations that seem to be out of our control. The result is an increasingly narrow life that gets smaller and smaller each time we try to shut out or avoid something that gives us anxiety. The net result is that by the time we reach middle age (or sooner for many) we feel imprisoned and don't know why. We have given anxiety so much control over our actions that it takes us over and forbids us to do anything outside of its walls.

Think back to the situation I described about throwing people in the water and driving the boat away... which of those people would you rather be? I'd rather be the triathlete of course and I bet you would too. Therefore it makes a lot more sense to begin learning as many possible ways to overcome anxiety whether through abilities or skills than through avoiding the situations that seem to cause it. Remember it is not the situation that causes the problem -- it is what you believe when you encounter an unexpected situation that appears out of your control.

One of my favorite tools is one called the Anxiety Eliminator. I love using it because it is so easy and enjoyable to use. Easy because you don't have to do anything for it to work. Enjoyable because it revokes the anxiety so fast and also because the effect lasts and improves as you use it more. You can find out more about it by clicking here.